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Categories: Terri Schlichenmeyer,
“Negotiating While Black: Be Who You
Are to Get What You Want”
by Damali Peterman
REVIEW by Terri Schlichenmeyer, Harlem News contributor
If you’ve ever had difficulty with negotiations, read “Negotiating While Black” by Damali Peterman, and you might find something between the N and the O.
You want something, but you’re denied, and it’s frustrating. Between your ask and the other party’s rejection, what went wrong? Damali Peterman wondered that, too, when she tried to buy a new car before the pandemic and the first dealership all but turned her away.
Was it because she’s Black, a woman – both or neither?
Peterman is the founder and CEO of Breakthrough ADR and an expert in dispute resolution. “Negotiation is my life,” she says, and she knows there are always two sides to an argument. Finding a happy middle to a dispute or negotiation is usually possible; at the very least, there may be compromise to be found.
First of all, don’t be afraid of negotiation; any time you make a decision or figure something out with someone, you’re negotiating. Also know that there’s not a “one-size-fits-all” way of give-and-take; you need to find what works best for you.
When you’re asking for something, keep in mind the “Five Elements in Every Negotiation”: know what you want, what you need, how to listen closely, how to communicate, and when to close the deal. Pay close attention to the other person’s body language and properly validate what they are saying. Always “be your authentic self”; not doing so is why things collapse well after the deal is set. Do your research and “peek inside their bag” so you have “more material… to work with” in negotiating. Always be the first to make the offer, but don’t show your hand too quickly. Know how to overcome bias. Apologize when needed. And know what to do when “high-stakes negotiations” could be a matter of safety…
You’re the sort of person who knows what they want. You’ve thought it through and you want it now. So learn how to get it by reading “Negotiating While Black.”
Ask pretty please? It often doesn’t work that way in real life, so author Peterman shows readers a number of better ways of talking things over and reaching a consensus that works for both parties in nearly any situation, in or outside of the office. Her methods are gentler but firm, smart but not smug, flexible but not bend-over-backward, and kind but not pushover. Yes, some advice here is common sense, but it also comes with a new perspective, including easy-to-grasp lessons for marginalized readers who want to go beyond the frustration of being abruptly dismissed.
Author photo by Lumumba David of David Media Group
“Negotiating While Black: Be Who You Are to Get What You Want”
by Damali Peterman
c.2024, Putnam
$30.00 239 pages
