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Categories: Articles, Hazel Rosetta Smith,
It is time to start having more intentional conversations. Active listening is necessary for communication. It goes beyond simply hearing the words that another person is speaking, to processing and seeking to understand the meaning and intent behind what they are saying.
It requires being a mindful and focused participant in the communication process. There are several techniques that are helpful in being fully present in a conversation. Most importantly, is withholding judgment and not offering advice unless it is solicited.
Listening with an open mind is fundamental in any conversation. To be willing to participate with empathy for the situation as it is presented helps the person feel more understood. It also makes the other person feel heard and valued.
When you practice active listening, you are fully engaged and immersed in the other person’s needs, concerns, and ideas. You can tell a lot about the person and what they are trying to say, when you apply patience. If they talk fast, for instance, this could be a sign that they are nervous or anxious. If they talk slowly, they may be trying to carefully choose their words. If you would like to better understand something the person has said, ask for clarification.
Patience is an important active listening technique because it allows the other person to speak without interruption. It may be a challenge not to finish the sentence for the person, yet it can be a source of confusion if that is not what they had intended to say.
Being patient involves not trying to fill periods of silence with your own thoughts or stories. That is, do not prepare a reply while the other person is still speaking. During active listening, you are there to function as a sounding board.
After the person has spoken, it can be helpful to tell them what you heard. This active listening technique ensures that you have captured their thoughts or information accurately. It also helps the other person feel validated and understood while keeping any miscommunications to a minimum. It also shows that you are not distracted by anything else around you.
You can also summarize what you have heard and give the person the opportunity to say whether you have captured their meaning or intent. Remaining neutral and non-judgmental in your responses enables the other person to feel comfortable with sharing their thoughts. It takes the conversation to a safe zone where they can trust that they will not be shamed, criticized, blamed, or otherwise negatively received.
Your ability to listen actively to a family member or friend who is going through a challenging time is a valuable communication skill. It is especially important that you recognize that the conversation is not always about you. This is especially important when the other person is emotionally distressed or in poor health. Sometimes you must let your own situation fall to the side in conversation, so that you can be a friend in need, indeed.
[Hazel Rosetta Smith is a journalist, playwright, and artistic director for Help Somebody Theatrical Ministries. Contact: misshazel@twc.com and website hazelrosettasmith.com]
